Heineken to launch rival virus to Corona
British based larger brand, Heineken are to launch their own bespoke virus to compete with the popular Corona-virus created by the Mexican larger company. A statement from Heineken Inc said “The Corona-virus has done wonders for the Corona brand and we’re looking for the same kind of uptick in sales by creating our own lethal […]
No antisemitism in Labour party say antisemitic Labour members
The Jewish community in the UK breathed a huge sigh of relief as a survey of Labour members who are antisemitic has shown that none of them has seen antisemitism in the Labour party. Marie Van Dam, the President of the Board of Deputies, who represent 1% of British Jews according to the same survey, […]
New Star Trek series to be set in retirement home
Following the success of Star Trek: Picard, the new show streaming on CBS All Access and Amazon Prime. Executive Producer Alex Kurtzman has announced a new Star Trek show to air next year to be set in the dementia ward of a retirement home. Mr Kurtzman told The Daily Jews that the 94-year-old Jean Luc […]
Brexit supporter wondering why foreigners are still here after 31st Jan
A Brexit supporter from York is in shock after realising that his Polish neighbours haven’t left the UK following Britains exit from the EU on 31st Jan. Dave McMac, 37, from York whose parents were born in Ireland is “gutted” that Brexit doesn’t mean Brexit. He told the Daily Jews that he voted Brexit to […]
Bochrim decry ‘anticlimactic’ Daf Yomi ending
After seven seasons of Daf Yomi, streamed all over the web, thousands of avid followers of the series have been left disappointed with the ending of the Talmud. Daily Jews visited the Siyum Hashas fan convention in New York last week and spoke to fans about their experiences. Noson ben Noson from Delaware has been […]
Star Wars: Rise of the Skywalker spoiler-free review for frummers
by Rav Shmuly Yankleberg Firstly, I have to say it’s totally asur min hashomoyim to watch this film. Having said that, I had to watch it to make sure the kehilla is properly warned about the danger to Klal Yisrael in it. I went to the cinema, but I was worried about maris eyin, so […]
Corbyn’s clone to stand in leadership election
Jeremy Corbyn’s biological clone has announced he will be standing for the Labour leadership. The clone, named as Jeremy+ Corbyn, was created three years ago as a backup plan by campaign group Momentum should the original Corbyn be hit by a bus or even more unlikely, lose the election. Jon Lansman, token Jew of Momentum, […]
Appeal: Socks are not just for Xmas
Every year millions of socks are bought as gifts at Christmas. The buyers’ intentions are usually good, to provide a loving home, warm washing machine and regular walks. But a shocking new study has shown that 98.87% of Xmas socks are discarded after only one week. The study was funded by the National Association of […]
Corbyn to join board of Estee Lauder after crushing election defeat
Jeremy Corbyn has announced that after he steps down from his role of Labour party leader, he will take up a board post with Estee Lauder. The failed leader, who many expected to return to his former glory three days after the election, has told the Daily Jews that he’s always had a keen interest […]
Chief Rabbi to Corbyn ‘this is what happens when you fuck with the Jews’
Ephraim Mirvis, the Chief Rabbi of the UK and commonwealth, has reacted defiantly to LAbour’s heavy defeat in the general election. Rabbi Mirvis told the Daily Jews that Mr Corbyn had “fucked” with the wrong people. The CR went on to say “Jeremy, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass”. We also asked […]
