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Daily Jews to launch rival to 40 under 40
The Daily Jews are pleased to announce it’s launching a much less ageist version of 40 under 40, entitled ‘Worst Jews’. ‘Worst Jews’ will list the top 40 awful people currently active in the Jewish community. We’re currently taking nominations with early nominees being: Stephen Bollard, especially since the JC was ‘rescued’ Grant Shapps, for […]
IDF prepares preemptive strike against Yachad HQ in Syria
Following extensive meetings with Mossad HQ in London aka the Board of Deputies, the IDF is preparing a preemptive strike against Yachad operatives in Syria. “We’re fighting this proxy war run by the real enemy, Yachad UK, and we will hit targets anywhere necessary to protect Bibi, I mean the State of Israel,” An IDF […]
Coronavirus advice for shul-goers:
As we enter a dangerous phase in the spread of Coronavirus with many Jewish communities being in heavily affected areas, we have put together some top tips for staying safe in shul. Do not share Tallitot as it can pass the virus, in fringe cases. When you get to shul, and you wish people a […]
Jews 100x more likely to suffer from coronavirus panic
A survey by Morris-Ipsosovich has found that Jews in the UK are 100x more likely to be terrified of coronavirus than Goyim. The poll which ran between 1-2 pm yesterday a randomised sample of Jews and Goyim were asked: “On a scale of 1-10, how afraid are you that coronavirus will result in a shlept-out […]
‘Oscars’ to sue ‘Jews got Talent’ by Jewish care
Monty Meyerowitz, CEO of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (the awarding body behind the Oscars) has announced he is to sue Jewish care of their hosting of ‘Jews got Talent’ the final of which is this coming Sunday. Meyerowitz told the Daily Jews that ‘Jews got Talent’ is the Oscars and therefore […]
Jewish Chronicle to merge with Daily Mail
After months of negotiations, the Jewish Chronicle has agreed to merge with the Daily Mail today. The JC has been financially struggling for years despite being funded by the Elders of Zion and other Zionist world controlling groups. This merger would see the stabilisation of their finances and a new car for the editor, Stephen […]
Bochrim decry ‘anticlimactic’ Daf Yomi ending
After seven seasons of Daf Yomi, streamed all over the web, thousands of avid followers of the series have been left disappointed with the ending of the Talmud. Daily Jews visited the Siyum Hashas fan convention in New York last week and spoke to fans about their experiences. Noson ben Noson from Delaware has been […]
Winners of the Jewish emoticon awards 2019 annouced
The annual Jewish emoticon awards were held last night and sponsored by the JLC, BoD, Jewish Chronicle and Ken Livingstone’s ‘don’t mention Hitler’ foundation. The Jewmoji’s, as they are affectionately known, brings the community together each year. It’s the only Jewish event that brings all denominations and political opponents together. This year Stephen Pollard could […]
Jewish Chronicles success due to ‘hysteria & fearmongering’ report says
A leaked report from The Daily Jews research department has shown that the online publication is way behind its competitors such as the Jewish Chronicle and the Jewish News. Analysis has shown that the Jewish Chronicle is 1000% more hysterical and 850% more fear-mongering in its articles which explains why it leads the Daily Jews […]
Jewish Chronicle predicts apocalypse if Labour wins election
This Jewish Chronicle (the official sanctioned mouthpiece of the UK Jewish community), has published an editorial warning that the final apocalypse of God will be happening 12 December unless everyone in the UK votes for the Conservative party. “God is angry with the Goyim” the editorial claimed. “Only Boris is the true Messiah who can […]
